"You met me at a very strange time in my life, and I wasn't always... I used to be a very open kid. And since Gabriel died, I just stopped talking to people. I didn't see the point of it anymore. They didn't understand and, um... sex, for me became a way of feeling things without having to talk to anybody. And when I met you, I guess I had just gotten used to it... using reckless behavior as a way of feeling like I was still alive." 

The Affair,  S2E6

The Affair, S2E6

Re: "Masters of Love" via The Atlantic

from: me
to: Rose
date: Thu, Jun 19, 2014 at 5:26 PM

feelin some type of way

from: Rose
to: me 
date:  Fri, Jun 20, 2014 at 3:00 AM

I love how it reinforces the constant life point that framing / word choice / etc has such a PROFOUND impact on life. I wonder if many peoples relationships would change if they were just made aware of the effects of their interaction style.

Something I think is also very interesting and alluded to in this article- the easy tendency to get into a "you vs me" mindset in a relationship. If you take things personally you can start to view the other person almost as the enemy ... Then when they reach out to you with "bids", you assume they are coming from a negative place and reject their outreach. I've fallen victim to this before and have to very actively remind myself to think of the other person as my teammate, not as my opposition. This makes me more likely to both extend more bids and react positively to offered bids.

from: Rose
to: me 
date:  Fri, Jun 20, 2014 at 3:00 AM

Yeah, definitely. Everything from tweaks in intonation (if communicating in person) to word choice (e.g., our thoughts on "ha" and "sure"); given that it's not a matter of only investing in what you are trying to communicate, but knowing exactly how to communicate it so the other person is most likely to hear it. It's crazy how applicable this is to all aspects of life that require human interaction; one of the other first relationships that came to my life is parenting / child discipline. I remember during my teen years, my mom would yell at me / our family when we were doing things that were displeasing to her / her tigermom ways. I would constantly give her feedback to stop approaching it from a "you suck" standpoint but rather a "you could improve if..." because my mind tends to automatically shut down when she starts from a berating and negative tone. Finally, after many trials and errors (it only took her 8ish years), I think she finally got it and now has far more effective communication (read: gets me, dad, and Ashley to do the things she wants us to do).

Also, so true on the us vs. them mentality. In a way, ivery similar to the language framing -- "mind framing"!


Love via TEDxParis, Oct 2012

"...becoming aware of this general imposture that concerns all of us would ease our love relationships. It is because I want to be loved from head to toe, justified in my every choice, that the seduction hysteria exists. And therefore I want to seem perfect so that another can love me. I want them to be perfect so that I can be reassured of my value."

-- Yann Dall'Aglio, "Love -- you're doing it wrong(TEDxParis , Oct 2012)

On beer, marketing, and #millennial men

"Brands have a new love affair with millennial men...

Aside from his various devices, there are a few things that a millennial man cannot live without.  One of those things is his favorite beer chilling in the fridge for a night out with the guys or to drink while watching the game on Sunday night. As the youngest legal drinkers, millennials as a whole have embraced beer drinking and are transforming the entire industry. Craft breweries are popping up all over the country and millennials are opting to pay more forcraft beers instead of public brands. However, there are lessons to be learned from beer brands that are staying relevant and available to the millennial men taking over the market."

Brand love is never static:  According to research conducted by  BERA Brand Management , there are 5 stages of development that parallel human relationships – new, dating, love, boredom and divorce. Like every great relationship, the ideas is to remain “fresh” and “exciting” to the other party.

Brand love is never static: According to research conducted by BERA Brand Management, there are 5 stages of development that parallel human relationships – new, dating, love, boredom and divorce. Like every great relationship, the ideas is to remain “fresh” and “exciting” to the other party.

Five Love Lessons For Marketing to Millennial Men

  1. Understand the head winds and tail winds of millennial culture
  2. Seek the intersection of your brand authority and cultural trends
  3. Keep it fresh because love doesn’t stand still (i.e., boys will look at other brands)
  4. Engage your consumer as a participant; do not refer to them as a target audience
  5. Disrupt your last success because if you don’t someone else will 

-- "Budweiser, Heineken & Five Millennial Male Marketing Love Affair Lessons" via Millennial Marketing

On the age of sexting & why we push 'send' (via NYMag)

"Sexting must have arrived simultaneously with texting—it’s a safe bet that any new media not invented by lust makes room for it immediately.

But sexual diversions don’t need to be measured by how closely they approximate coitus; innuendo can be enjoyable on its own…That sexting session wasn’t an inferior version of sex; it was a superior version of Candy Crush.

'Making a girl wet from afar fills me with a sense of godlike power,” a male friend boasted. 'Especially if she’s somewhere where she can’t have sex, if she’s at work…And I’m ­creating this hypersexual mind-set.'

The disassociation may be even more extreme when the sexting is totally out of the blue—or into it. According to [a] McAfee study, one in ten sexters have sent “intimate content” to “complete strangers.”….Some were vetting potential dates when the talk turned dirty; others simply felt like sexting.

'How important is the belief that we will one day hook up again?' I asked…'Like if I told you I would never fuck you, would it ruin it?' — 'Hmm that’s interesting. It would take some fun out of it, yes, because you want to believe the stuff you’re typing will happen. But it’s still fun in and of itself, so probably not a deal-breaker.'”

— via “Sexting’s Strange Paradox: It’s Just No Fun from today’s NYMag