feeling

"You met me at a very strange time in my life, and I wasn't always... I used to be a very open kid. And since Gabriel died, I just stopped talking to people. I didn't see the point of it anymore. They didn't understand and, um... sex, for me became a way of feeling things without having to talk to anybody. And when I met you, I guess I had just gotten used to it... using reckless behavior as a way of feeling like I was still alive." 

  The Affair,  S2E6

The Affair, S2E6